The other day I did something stupid- I watched a c-section birth online. Before I watched that I watched a woman receive an epidural. Why? What is the matter with me?
Before I had Piper I watched a ton of birthing videos, but oddly not one c-section (it’s surgery, what’s to learn from it?) or epidural one. Of course, I ended up needing the pitocin which in turn, made me need an epidural. At the end of the time in labor/pushing, I needed a c-section. Damn, that was when I wished I had watched it, if only to know what would be happening to me.
Curiosity got the best of me last week, when I was on Babycenter checking out Piper’s milestones. “Birth Videos” popped up in their menu. Hm… Should I? I already HAD the procedure, how bad could it be?
It was bad. Watching the woman get the epidural made me dizzy all over again. It was like I was suffering alongside her, with the pain of the procedure still fresh in my mind. I literally started swaying in my seat, nausea bubbling up. When she leaned back, relief flooded her face, and I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
Then, I turned on the c-section birth. Whooo boy am I glad I was the person getting it done and not watching it. It was ROUGH. They really just manhandle you to get the baby out (which IS important, the baby), but HOW do they pull a baby out of a small smiley face scar? Not too softly, my dears. Looking at that incision, I decided to check out my own scar, to see how it’s doing. Well, it’s not cute. It’s definitely darker and thicker on one side than the other, the side they tugged on harder to get her out. It’s only 3 months later, so it shouldn’t be faded, but yuck! Good thing I have this handy belly flap hanging over it (which you should know is a side effect of a c-section if you have a big belly) to disguise it.
So yeah, word to the wise: the experience is all the more frightening once you’ve gone through it- to see exactly WHAT your body did is mindblowing.
