Ambergontrail – Trying to get through life without dying of dysentery

How far along? As of the pic, 33w6d
Total weight gain/loss: I dunno!
Maternity clothes? Yeps.
Stretch marks? Yes, a few new ones popped up.
Sleep: Aside from random leg cramps and a sincerely achy belly when I try to roll over, still pretty good.
Best moment this week: I got to spend time with Paul’s family who won’t see us until the baby is born.
Movement: Yes, but no longer jabs and kicks, now it’s mostly rolls and shifting. When it’s behind my belly button and pressed into my cervix it KILLS.
Food cravings: Hot fudge sundae
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? It’s still holding on!
What I miss: Sleeping on my back, tying my shoes
What I am looking forward to: Getting the room all together.
Weekly Wisdom/ Snide Comments: “I know someone who had an 11 pound baby, that (pointing at my belly) looks like one of those.” – From a stranger in front of me in Starbucks.
Milestones: Um, can’t think of anything?
So a woman said it looked like I dropped. This terrifies me, to be honest. I’m not ready to have her yet, and if dropping is a sign of impending labor, well… scaaaary.

Pics:

What do you think? Dropped?

Now, uncovered:

With top up.

You know how the books and movies and all that say pregnant women are hormonal and cry at everything? I’m not like that. Well, not usually. Last night was the Jim and Pam wedding on The Office. Paul and I have long been fans of The Office, the humor, the storylines (Jim and Pam, Dwight and Angela…), I hate when it’s the Winter/Summer break!

As I said before, last night was the Jim and Pam wedding. Thankfully, NBC devoted an entire hour to this episode, as they should have. I don’t think I’m going to go into too many details here, but let me say, at the end, when they show the montage of J & P running off to the Niagara Falls boat to get married on their own along with the hilarious spoof of the viral youtube video seen here , tears were rolling down my face. I’m not a happy crier. The only wedding I cried in was my own (and BOY did I cry). Why did I even cry then? What brings on a happy tear?

I’m a fan of romance, a fan of love stories that make you believe there is true love in this world. In our own little way, I think Paul and I are somewhat a love story.  Because of how our relationship came to be (after 5 years of not seeing each other at all), it positively aggravates me to see couples in love but not able to be together, whether from their own hand or the input of someone else. This is why I kept watching “The Office”, hoping that sooner or later the writers/producers would decide to go beyond the Ross/Rachel formula and to just let J&P be together already. I seriously doubt I would continue to watch had they somehow come up with a way to drag out the J&P “will they or won’t they” business.

There aren’t many shows that have episodes that you could watch again and again. Fortunately, The Office has a multitude of episodes that I could watch constantly, and after last night, it seems they have added another to my list. I don’t know if it was how the writers perfectly encapsulated the personas of the couple in their wedding, or if it was Dwight wearing that ridiculous Three Wolves shirt (read the reviews, FUNNIEST THING EVER), or the fact that despite all the waiting… they are together, and about to have a family.

So conceited of me, but I think about that a lot- where I would be if Paul hadn’t waited for me. I always ask him, “Where do you think you’d be if I hadn’t found you after all?” He always says, “I knew we’d get together eventually.” Just like Jim, he waited. Unlike Jim, though, he didn’t have to work with me every day (at least not after the first breakup).

Watching that Office episode had me in tears. Happy tears. Knowing that from now on, I no longer have to worry that somehow their relationship will get screwed up. I think it’s because now, they’re married, and whatever life throws their way they can handle. The hard part was getting there, now comes the easy part.

Ha. Said the woman who married ten years and two days after the day she first started dating her husband. I think that for any couple with a long story like ours, we long to hear about other couples who managed to figure it out as well.

Congrats Jim and Pam. And yes, I DO know they’re actors. So, Congrats to The Office. This episode was my favorite episode of all time.

One of the classes Paul wanted to take was Childcare Basics. It’s supposed to teach you about the various things like bathing, umbilical cord care, swaddling, diapering, how to dress the baby, learning the baby’s cues. Sounds pretty useful, right?

Well, it wasn’t. It was the most useless three hours I have ever spent in my life. Even worse, it was the most useless three hours I have ever had to PAY for.

First, we arrived at our delivery hospital, excited to be going to the maternity ward for our class. Imagine our surprise to see that it was moved into some crappy tiny conference room a floor below maternity. We arrived at the room to see two rows of chairs, a big plasma screen tv at the front of the room, and two small tables- one arranged with hot water (for various teas and instant coffees, along with the various hot beverage condiments), three pitchers of ice water, and a tray of oatmeal raisin cookies; and another with 8 baby dolls in various states of undress.

Since a few couples were already seated haphazardly (really, you can’t move to the last chair in the row? You HAVE to sit one chair right of the last chair in the row, making it impossible for another couple to fit in that row), Paul and I took seats at the very end of the front row. As we waited for the rest of the class to join us, I glanced at the other preggos with me, comparing my belly to theirs (like you wouldn’t do it). I wondered who was farther along, what the sex of the baby was, things like that. Well, I wasn’t the LARGEST belly in the room- I don’t think. Paul said I wasn’t but maybe I’m not as far along as some of the ladies there? I saw some definite belly-button poppers in there, that’s for sure.

Finally, all the “students” trailed in and seated themselves. The instructor introduced herself (unintelligibly) and proceeded to tell us her qualifications. She asked how many have never changed a diaper before- Paul was one of the few with his hand raised, bless his heart. The guy next to me, with a tiny wife with a tiny belly (and a not so tiny French accent) asked if the doll the instructor was holding was about the size the babies could be. She tossed him the doll and said “Well, this is the small side of the range of sizes, typically babies are born at about 7.5 pounds, and that one is 6 pounds.” She then told him he was holding the baby wrong (he was kind of holding it in one hand and leaning it against the leg crossed over his knee).

Finally, we got down to the actual class. It seemed to be a lot of “Don’t do this, don’t do that”, interspersed with a few man-hating remarks. Seriously, folks. Paul was counting. At one point in the beginning, she mentioned Daddies should watch to make sure they don’t shake the baby. No, it wasn’t a warning to all of us, JUST THE DADDIES. Besides the obvious sexist remark, WHO DOESN’T KNOW NOT TO SHAKE A BABY???? All joking aside, she mentioned NOT shaking the baby at least three times. THREE TIMES. A few of her other cutting remarks regarding men: “Now, I’ve noticed the Dads tend to want to play around with the babies, but when they’re newborns, Mommy has to tell them NO. The Daddys can’t help it.” Another gem: ” Mommies, maybe you should let Daddy do some work around the house while you’re taking care of the baby. They might mess up, but that’s okay.” Really lady??

The three hours consisted of her talking about what she thinks we should all do “From her experience”. Then the couple next to me asked stupid questions, “When is it safe to move the baby from the bassinet to the crib?” reply: “Well, no one can really tell you that, you can do it the first night or three months later, it’s up to the parents.” Idiot Couple Reply: “I’m looking for an actual time here, one month? Three?” Instructor: “It’s really up to you.”  Idiot Couple Question #2: “We have a cat” Instructor: “Should be sure to vacuum a lot.” Couple: “She’s hypoallergenic” (which actually isn’t true. As long as a cat has fur and saliva it’s not hypoallergenic) Instructor: “She has no fur?” Couple: “No, she’s just got none of the stuff that makes cats allergic.” instructor: “Soooo, your question?” Couple: “Can the baby play with the cat?” Amber: “OH SWEET JESUS SAVE ME.”

Twice the instructor had us watch snippets from a peach of a movie from LITERALLY 1981. It was four or so couples bringing their baby home, called “The First Week” or something. I don’t know what it was called as I lost coherency as the first mother showed up sporting a Princess Di circa 1982 haircut and a trapeze style maternity dress. Her husband was wearing large glasses and boy, I feel sorry for that guy. The movie had bad sound (especially on the plasma screen! What an injustice to Samsung!), and the parents did everything we are now told not to do:  The dad of one boy newborn covered him up with loads of blankets (offense #1) then patted/shook the baby side to side vigorously while the infant was trying to sleep (offense #2). A couple was bathing their son after the umbilical stump fell off, only supporting the chest while the head flopped back and forth (offense #3). Overuse of zinc oxide on a days old infant, you should have SEEN it. This baby looked like it was albino from the belly button down (offense #4). A woman was holding her newborn daughter UP TO SPEAKERS PLAYING LOUD MUSIC. Moving her back and forth saying it was “Dancing” (offense #5)

There are many more, but I just can’t bear to list them.  They said a lot of “do this…” when it was obvious the couple in the movie was NOT doing that. Then they talked about circumcision, and how to treat the penis post surgery (OW). They also spoke about cleaning a little girl’s genitals and being aware of the various folds and creases to get into when cleaning. Poor Paul looked so daunted at that.

We stopped and had the couples trying to diaper very rigid dolls. Our doll was the darkest one, viva la Mexico, mi amor. Ours was also the only one that had a thumbs up hand and an open mouth to stick it in. She also had a uvula, of which the moron next to me thought was some kind of vaginal do-hickey. That was entertaining. Paul was very gentle with the non-pliable rubber known as “Diana”. He IS an excellent swaddler, though.

After that we went back  to our seats and watched a Mutton-chopped doctor go on and on about the different signs to watch out for when bringing home an infant. Unfortunately, it was very outdated and the instructor said not to really pay attention to it. I DO know how to take a rectal temperature now. Poor things have to sit still for TWO MINUTES?

Eventually the class came to an end, and our instructor was asked how many kids she had. Her answer? “Four godkids.” What the hell? Sooo none of this is based on your actual, 24/365 experience? Cripes.

To paraphrase from Comic Book Guy: Worst Class Ever.

After our pediatrician meeting, Paul and I headed out to get lunch. We were done with the pedi at about 1pm, and our next appointment (across the street) wasn’t until 2:45. What a break, huh?

So, we headed to an Italian place we enjoy and ordered up. I gorged on the Fritto Misto (basically Italian tempura with all sorts of veggies and calamari and shrimp, which I avoided) which supposedly feeds 2-4, but was wiped clean by me (no worries about Paul, I loaded up all the stuff I don’t eat on his plate while he was in the bathroom- I did feel a bit bad when he saw the lone artichoke heart I had left and said, “What is this?” Poor thing had no idea we had about 10 of them on the platter before Hurricane Amber got to it).  I also ordered a pasta dish which was very pretty but gross. Gross because it was spinach linguine (yum!) with a lemon cream sauce (yumx2!) mixed with what seemed to be a coleslaw mix (yuckx300) minus the dressing. It was COVERED in shredded cabbage (both green and purple), shredded raw carrots, and shredded raw zucchini. Needless to say, it is still languishing in my fridge, as no amount of parmesan can make it better.

Annnyway, the waitress took so long to get us a check that we ended up heading over to our appointment, possibly 10-15 minutes early. The appointment was our 32 week ultrasound, followed by my 32 week checkup with one of the OBs who was standing in for my OB while on maternity leave.

As we took our seats in the waiting room slash construction zone (they’re totally redoing everything in there), we saw new preggos come strolling in. I’m now one of the  (to quote Juno) “cautionary whales”. I remember going in with nary a belly (well, BABY belly) to be seen, looking at all the late preggos spread out uncomfortably in their chairs, thinking that one day, I would be them. That time has come, as now the thin preggos glance at me, with a tiny bit of shock. Kind of like looking into a mirror to the future.

Finally (and by finally I mean about 3 minutes or so), we are called into the other office to get the ultrasound. During construction, some offices and the ultrasound tech are across the hall, nicely redone. The main office is still being worked on, enough that the front desk gals are surrounded (literally) by plastic tarps.

In the ultrasound room, I hop up on the chair/table thing and pull my shirt up and my pants down. The tech grabs the gel out of the gel warmer (seriously, ultrasound techs- ALL doctors need this) and squeezes it all over my belly. It’s so strange, as I remember before how they had to press very hard around my pubic bone, but now the wand goes above my belly button to get a good view.

As she scanned over my belly we saw she was head down, completely on my right side, in a C-shape. Her face looks into my left pelvic bone and her spine is curved along my right side. That explains the pushing out on both sides of my belly- she was pushing off like superman again- legs pushing out with her butt/back pushing out as well on the other end.

This is 33 weeks, but you'll see why I posted it.

Of course, as is her nature, she would NOT move the hands from her face. At all. A few vigorous shakes here and there got nothin’. Finally, the tech asked me to turn over onto my right side just a little, so she gets tipped back and we may be able to measure her head and things. We saw a little ear, some chubby cheeks, her hands waving back and forth beside her face. Finally, we saw this:

So THAT is what has been kicking me!

Probably one of the best pictures of her all this time.  How perfect is that foot? We got a face shot, although it was vaguely reminiscent of that “Face On Mars” image. So we won’t show that.

We then found out she was measuring 4lbs15oz at her 32 week appointment. Our baby girl, with 8 weeks left to bake and grow, was weighing almost 5 pounds already. Another 6 ounces and she’ll have my birth weight beat. We have a gigantic, but perfectly formed, baby.

After the ultrasound, I was weighed and my blood pressure checked. Both were “great”, but not divulged. This appointment seemed rushed, but I guess since we had JUST had the growth u/s and heard the heartbeat and all that we didn’t need the usual belly measuring and doppler listen-in. The doc asked if we had any questions and I said no, then she said all was great, and “see you in 2 weeks!”. Okay.

So, that was our action packed day. We ended up pulling out of the parking lot at the exact time our OB appointment was supposed to start. Great timing, eh?

Like I said previously, we had a busy day ahead of us on Thursday. At 12:30 we were due to meet with a pediatrician who happened to be across the street from the hospital/OB’s office.

Leaving work at noon, Paul and I drove to the Pediatrician’s office. It was nice to see that it wasn’t a suite in a big tower, nor was it one of those medical building that houses all sorts of specialists, who you end up waiting hours for, like some kind of cattle call. No, this office was completely on its own, no other offices bordering it, right on the street, which I never realized I was looking for in a pediatrician’s office. Although it was good to know, as PJ will be going there for 18 years or so. After we parked the car in the lot behind the office, we announced ourselves to the woman behind the counter, who had (ha, obviously) decided we were the couple looking to meet the doctor for our future child.

Once we introduced ourselves we took a seat in the waiting room. The room was in the front of the building, so we could look out the windows to see the happenings on the street outside. As we waited, a family came in to meet with the other partner at the office, leaving two other children in the waiting room. The waiting room was so cute- a wooden play kitchen and plenty of “foods” and trucks and games to play with. A real child’s paradise.

We were told it would be just a little bit longer, as the doctor had a small emergency pop up, but she’d be meeting with us soon. So, we waited and read magazine articles on swaddling, vaccinations and various other concerns new parents are interested in.

Not too long later, the doctor came out into the waiting room. She shook our hands (told me not to bother getting up)  and we began to talk about the basics: due date, hospital we’re delivering in, current OB, medical issues, all that good stuff. She told us about her/their practice, and we discussed what kind of birth I would like to have. Then we got down to questions. I asked how it works when you have a pediatrician lined up and she said this is what happens: when I get admitted, I’m asked who my pediatrician is. She is then called and has 24 hours to check on the baby. She will then be in to check on me/us every day we’re in the hospital (2 nights for a vaginal birth, 4 if c-section) , and then we bring the baby in to see her 5 days later. She mentioned how they can catch heart murmurs once the baby is out and home, as they don’t always catch them in hospital.

Then, we discussed vaccinations. With Paul being absolutely immersed in children and infectious diseases, we are absolutely sure we need to vaccinate our children. We really like the way the pediatrician’s office does it: they space the shots out monthly starting at 2 months (unless PJ has a health issue, then it’s later), which is also useful to compare her current growth with what she should be at that stage of life. So we like that!

I also asked her about asthma, same-day appointments, after-hours emergencies and we found out a great thing: they also do adolescent gynecology! So should PJ have a gynecology issue, she can just go to her comfortable, same doctor as before.

After the interview she took us on a tour of the office. They have a nurse who is also a lactation consultant, and they do any blood draws there rather than having the parents take the kids to a stranger to have blood drawn. Also, in the case of sick children who may be contagious, they have a separate entry to the office. Great!
All in all, we were VERY pleased with the doctor and have decided to choose her as our doctor for PJ. We felt very comfortable in the offices as well as in her presence, and know that she cares about the children she sees. I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship.

How far along? 32w5d!
Total weight gain/loss: I’m not sure, they didn’t tell me at the appointment yesterday. Is that bad? They did say my weight was PERFECT.
Maternity clothes? Yah mon.
Stretch marks? They are here and they are spectacular.
Sleep: Still pretty great, considering I can barely get up by myself.
Best moment this week: We got to see our little peach on the ultrasound. Of course, she hid her face, but we got a cool foot shot!
Movement: Yes, plenty. Kind of painful.
Food cravings: Cupcakes
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? It’s still holding on!
What I miss: Mai tais
What I am looking forward to: Putting the crib together.
Weekly Wisdom/ Snide Comments: She’s looking perfect- you’re all baby!
Milestones: We have our pediatrician!!

Now, the pics:

Excuse the spots on my shirt, I was messing about in the water.

Now, uncovered.

Different Top, same day

Today is a biggie! We are meeting with a pediatrician, we have our first appointment with the OB who is taking over for my pregnant OB, and we’re having what may be our last ultrasound!

A few things are on my mind today. First, regarding the pediatrician: how do we “cement” things with her if we like her? Should we shake on it, with the guarantee that she’s got dibs on our baby? Or do we have to sign something, giving her rights to inspect her upon birth? I guess we’ll find out! We also don’t know if this is a group meet and greet or just single meetings. Either way, SUPER EXCITED! I really hope we like her,  not just because of her close proximity to the hospital and my OB, but because I really don’t want to have to make more appointments. She seems to agree with delayed vaccination schedules, but will also advise you on which she thinks are best given at which times.

More later!