Ambergontrail – Trying to get through life without dying of dysentery

When I found out the sex of our baby today, I cried. I must admit I’m surprised, since I didn’t cry when I heard the heartbeat for the first time, nor did I cry when we saw it kicking around a few weeks ago. Perhaps the reason I cried was because I was incredibly shocked.

After being 90% sure the baby was a boy, sure enough to discourage anyone else who entertained the idea of the baby being anything other than a boy, we saw the proof this afternoon- the baby is a girl. We have our little girl, whose name we’ve had picked out for years- Piper Jane, PJ for short.

I’ve got my little girl, Paul has his Daddy’s girl, we get the hand-me-downs from the only other girl in the family, and well, we have a healthy baby.

IT’S A GIRL!!!!!

Growing up, I wanted a family like those on Family Ties or Growing Pains. I wanted a happy Mom and a happy Dad- examples of what a family should be like. Instead I somehow got dealt a family like Roseanne, minus the happy parents. I’ve come to terms with that, but still makes this marriage & family thing kind of an uncharted territory of sorts. I’ve had all sorts of examples in my life, from my mom’s sister who has been married 50 years- despite getting pregnant while in high school; to my Dad’s sister- who also helped teach me how to keep tradition going and family (well, most family- some members aren’t exactly friendly) close.

My uncles have treated me as daughters and granddaughters- never making me feel like an outsider when I stayed the night at their house yet again. Most of the time these uncles would go out of their way to make me feel welcomed, from the pancakes shaped into my initials and flavored with mint or strawberry extract to the blankies created with just me in mind, complete with the silky pink satin trim. These are examples that make you think of families that aren’t quite Rockwell-esque, but still very content and comfortable nonetheless. Despite (or perhaps due to)  my childhood with parents who put kids first and themselves last, their relationship not even registering on the radar, I’ve grown up with a deep need for that Leave it to Beaver type of life, where the wife is happy, the husband is happy and the kids don’t torture small animals and neighborhood kids.

Imagine my joy when Paul and I got a compliment a few weeks ago. A friend of ours is planning on popping the question soon, with us in attendance (eeeeeee! young love!) , and he told Paul, “I’m really glad it’ll be you two there”. Paul asked him why and he said, “Well, you’ve got the whole package- happily married, a baby on the way…” to which Paul responded, “What you want, huh?” The friend said, “Yeah, I want THAT.”

Someone wants my life. OUR life that we’re making together. After so many years of wanting what everyone else had (happy, normal life), I can say that it’s visible that I’m utterly thrilled with where I/We are in our lives, and that I couldn’t want anything else.