Nope, it’s not a spelling error, I’m talking about the collection of urine spattered pregnancy tests I still have in my bathroom. Technically they aren’t spattered, and for every test I took, I peed in a cup, NOT on the stick. After the deposit was made in the non-refundable gatorade cup, I dipped the stick and replaced the cap- RIGHT AWAY.

So why am I keeping the tests? Well, this is my first pregnancy and I like the reminders. I pull out the drawer, and see row upon row of pregnancy tests (in a baggie) that gave me so much joy.These tests reveal the momentous occasion upon which our whole lives are changed. I look at them and remember taking the tests.

First response early result #1: very faint line, I remember holding this up to my face after watching the first line come up very definitively, with the second line began to fill in. This is the test I took into the kitchen and laid in front of Paul’s face (yes, on the counter- IT HAD A CAP!) to see if he too, saw the faint line.

The little dollar store one that I bought two of: Hey, they were a DOLLAR. At this point I was still just 7 weeks pregnant. When I told Paul what I had bought (ah, also had candy galore)  he was incredulous, “You already KNOW you’re pregnant!” Perhaps, grasshopper, but I would like to check to make sure I STAY pregnant. So, the tests were purchased. Of course, they were partially in Spanish, but they came with a super cute dropper, to drop the “samples” onto the cassette thing. The dropper was adorable! So, I washed it out and everything, but Paul walked in and was like, “Amber, that is disgusting! Why are you keeping it?” Um, because it was a tiny dropper? Fine, so I tossed it.

So I kept my tests, yes, it’s weird. They’re not posing a biological hazard to anyone just yet, and I WILL throw them out, but since they still have their little lines, I still like to see them. I’m a weirdo.

Advertisement