The morning of my wedding, what was arguably the biggest day of my life (up to that moment), I got into the shower (without getting my hair wet- that was hard), did the shaving bit, and put on deodorant. It came to me then, that on a day that was so momentous as our wedding day, I did something so mundane as putting on deodorant. Weren’t there some mystical doves or butterflies that could apply it for me? Obviously I wouldn’t go sans deodorant, but still, it was just a normal day, wasn’t it?
This comes to me every morning, as I get up, brush my teeth, puke (not every morning, but JEEZ, I puke in the middle of brushing my teeth- how WRONG is that?), sit on the couch in my underpants and rapidly shrinking bra, and think: I’m growing a human. I’m growing a human, and the only sign is the puking. Well, that and the bloat that is easily camoflauged as previously worn fat. I go to work, enter my billing and invoices, while creating fingernails and bones.
How is this possible? While part of the worry about being an early preggo (well, I’m 11 weeks now, so it’s already a quarter of the way done) is the lack of symptoms, you’re still kind of mystified that there is something in there. As I was throwing up this morning, Paul was standing in the doorway. I asked him, “Do you still love me even though you’ve watched me throw up?” He always replies when I ask this, “Of course, that’s our baby making you sick.” Then he offers to get me water. What a guy.
We live our lives in wait for the days that make everything else seem mundane: your 16th birthday, your 18th birthday, the legal 21st, engagement, wedding, and in some cases, that positive pregnancy test followed by birth. What comes next I can only imagine thus far- worry and heartache, pride and joy, love and contentment… Today I’m waiting for our next big day- our Nuchal Translucency test, a week from today. I should be about 12w1d, as the last day to do the test is 13w6d. Once we get the results from that and our quad screen test (first trimester testing), we’ll be able to rest a little bit easier.
As I’ve had no spotting or cramps thus far (knock on wood), I’m feeling a bit less terrified than I was at 5 weeks pregnant. Just another week to see how the baby is doing. Sigh. I can wait that lon. Well, I kind of have to.